As our family transitions from a home of 4 to a home of 5, we are getting the big question: will you have a 3rd baby shower? This question haunts me almost nightly now, as it did when I was pregnant with my second baby. Why? Firstly, all of the attention of a shower makes me anxious. The opening of the gifts in front of everyone, the weird shower hat that you’re forced to wear and the pressure of including everyone that may want to come, and inviting those that you know won’t attend but will be appalled if you don’t invite them. The semantics make my armpits sweat. But this time, it’s the semantics of having yet another kid and figuring out if it’s rude to let someone plan a shower for us. So, when I’m having a mental joust, I do one thing. I turn to Facebook. After over 60 comments, I’ve learned so much about what works in this situation and what doesn’t. Let’s dive in and figure this heated situation out, shall we?
I was very surprised that only a few Facebook friends chimed in with this viewpoint. Actually, some weren’t even friends (how you do that. Facebook?) but seemed to feel the need to give this opinion. My biggest fear was that most friends would feel this way. Once valid point that was made is that a shower is truly for the first baby. We are meant to “shower” the new parents with love and gifts to help them transition into their new life. I can agree with that. I do think that a full blown shower for a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th child is a bit much. The parents know what’s up by then. No need to gift them larger items.
Let Your People Decide
Many moms agreed that if my friends and family decided to give me a shower or some type of party for our little one, let them do it. Even my friend Tania claimed that she told 2 sets of different friends not to plan 2 of her 3 baby showers, and they did it anyway. If they want to take on the task then you really can’t be too upset about it. It’s all done in love, and it’s important to remember that.
Plan Your Own
Yes, even a few moms suggested this option. This is probably where I would draw the line. I would be a bit taken aback to receive an invitation for a baby shower from a mom of many. Truthfully, there would be no way I would plan something myself. While I would feel badly about my other two having their celebrations and not my 3rd, it would feel worse to plan something for myself and think that I was being very selfish.
Have a Sprinkle or Sip and See
This was my favorite advice and over 40 moms suggested this to me. The idea of a Sip and See was brought up by my mother when we told her about the new baby, and I told her that was fine with us. A small, and I mean small, gathering of close family and friends after the baby is born would be something that I and the rest of the family would love. There are some people in our lives that I would love to meet my baby boy once he’s born because they have always been supportive. Having a “sprinkle” party where people can bring diapers, wipes, onesies and other essentials would be fun and very welcomed. A few moms also suggested having some type of theme party. Star Wars would be a great one for our baby boy, don’t you think?
Every Baby Should Be Celebrated
This exact sentence was typed by most moms in the Facebook thread. They’re right. I love both of my children and this 3rd little prince will have just as much love from his mom, dad, and the rest of his family. He should be celebrated. One of my favorite pictures of my little girl and I is from her celebration, and the memories I have from that day are still vivd in my mind. Candice from Mom Most Traveled really pulled at my heart-strings by leaving a YouTube video of one of my favorite songs. Shower the people you love, especially the babies. They grow up too quickly.
What do you think? Should you have a 3rd baby shower or some type of celebration?