Photo by Heaven’s gate on flickrA little over a week ago, I posted my qualms with creating and maintaining my stockpile inventory and the fact that sometimes, I just plain don’t feel like staying organized. Sometimes, I do get tired and I do feel drained. While many of my readers totally related and admitted that they often feel the same way, I did have a few that made comments along the lines of “oh, you’re young. It’s expected from someone your age. You have years to figure it out. Don’t worry about it.” Now, I know these comments were meant to get me to not feel so bad about my lack of discipline that day, but they bothered me. I didn’t understand why they did at the time but they just didn’t sit well with me.
As I sat in front of my laptop the next day, I immediately knew why I was so bothered. Age should be no excuse for the way you run your household. Age also should not be an excuse for the way you raise your family. I never realized it until that day, but I take pride in the fact that I am a 26 year old woman with a husband, son and household to run and I do it better than a few 30 and 40 year olds I have known for years. I do it better than family members I have known my whole life. This is just something that I am good at. This is something where I thrive and continue to get better and better. My age definitely has nothing to do with it. It’s my ambition and dedication that makes me attain excellence. Yes, I am talking about maintaining a home but it may be one of the most important jobs out there.
And I know that I am not alone in this. Crystal over at Money Saving Mom and Biblical Womanhood is only a few months older than I am, and she has accomplished more than many women who are twice her age. She, much like me, had to go through many trials at a young age and learned quickly from those experiences. She’s a wife, soon to be mother of three, public speaker, devout christian, and all around intelligent woman. And yes, she’s 27.
But I do realize that Crystal and I may be an exception to a rule. I have many friends in their twenties who may never experience the things that I have and may never have to take care of their own little families. But when they tell me that they are struggling to maintain a raise or promotion in their careers, I wouldn’t dare say to them “oh, you’re young. You have plenty of time.” I encourage them to reach for the sky and to do it right now. And if I can give constructive advice, I give it in spades.
Now don’t think me ungrateful for those that provide me with great advice already. I have one buddy that I met through the msn messsage boards who has children who are at least 15 years older than my boy and she gives me wonderful advice which I take to heart. But, she also acknowledges how much I already do and how well she thinks I do it. Not how well I do it FOR MY AGE, but how well I do it, period. I thank the Lord everyday for the advisers I have that are giving me that type of encouragement. Hopefully I may be able to find more of these great women in the future as my son gets older, my marriage advances in years, and I start to experience new things from both.
As Crystal recently said on one of her posts to older moms at Biblical Womanhood:
“…may I encourage you in something? If you want to reach out to us younger moms, don’t try to start a mentoring relationship by immediately letting us know how easy we have it compared to what you went through or by nit-picking the way we are mothering or parenting. Start by showing genuine interest and a compassionate, caring heart.”
Amen sister….Amen.
I’ve told you before, you are the most “together” person. You actually wear more than 4 hats, and do it well. I know how much you’ve inspired me & many others to do more, be better & just enjoy life. You just got your s!*t together at a young age. ATTA GIRL!
I think that some of us are just born to be homemakers. I mean, anyone can learn, but some have an almost inborn gift for it.
But that’s not to say that age…or more accurately, experience…doesn’t play a part.
At 44, homemaking comes easier to me than they did at your age, although I was very “into it” even then.
Just my two cents…
You are always an inspiration to me. I know exactly what you are talking about. I still have a lot to learn, but I think everyone out there has a lot to learn, no matter their age.
Love you.
Amiyrah,
AGE and WISDOM are two very different things!
I don’t think age has anything to do with how your run your home. There are many people who are twice your age that can’t get their homes half way to yours. I think you’re doing amazingly well. And not just for being young. I don’t have a child but I have to push myself to do daily cleaning and laundry and cooking. Now I’m in the middle of my fall cleaning and it’s taking me forever to get it done. And I don’t even have excuse of being tired from work or taking care of the baby – I just can’t get my head into it. I can only wish I had your level of energy to accomplish as much as you already have.
I have to say… Kudos to you!! I am also 26 with a 1year old, was a SAHM until recently. I have to say being a homemaker is not my calling! (Wow, I am actually admiting, this) I didn’t hate it but I definitely do not enjoy it. Thanks for this blog, I am a faithful reader/ lurker.
I don’t often post on blogs but have felt the need to the last couple of days. This is one of those posts I felt the need to respond to.
I, too, was an accomplished and organized homemaker. I was a single mom with a full time job, and I was in my mid to late 20’s and was very organized. (I lived in a 500 sq ft apt with my son, three cats and three fish- I had to be organized) I had meal plans for the month, and routines in writing for every day of the week. You can be very good at running a household at any age. Now with my son gone, I am lucky to do the dishes twice a week, vaccuum only when I have to and do laundry when I run out of clothes. Obviously I am older than I used to be as that is the general progression in life. BUT now I am a lousy housekeeper, etc. Instead of getting better with age I seem to have reversed.
Kudos to you for having it together. I shall hold you in esteem until I can get myself to a higher standard and be like mike! OH wait I mean be like Dhunny!
You are so wise, Dhunny! You inspire me daily, and you may not even know that. But I’m here to say you do.
I’ve given up wonderin’ how many hats I’ve worn in my life. All I know about YOU and your life is that you do it extraordinarily well.
Keep your thoughts comin’. Like a thirsty hound, I’m lappin’ it up.
No longer a lurker, am I! And right this moment, we’re lappin’ up your Asian Meatball Spaghetti. Can I say just one word about that? Delish!
Hugs to my (unofficial) nephew, Sonny Boy. And btw, cute tee-shirt he’s wearing!
When I was a new mom, I was concerned about maintaining a clean home, a quality learning environment, a frugal budget, etc. I invested a lot in doing that, and did a good job.
With my second child I continue to devote energy to all of those things, but I also found my experience doing those things allows me to focus more on my children, and simply enjoying life, each day.
Things that once caused me stress just affect me less. I don’t really approach them any differently, those things are just a less noticable part of my life now.
I don’t think things are easier when you are older because you are a specific *magic* age, like 35. Rather, with time and effort your experience and expertise grows.
On the flip side of the coin, people do associate age with experience, and sometimes people act “surprised” when you are 26 and an established and capable wife and mother. I guess that is kind of natural. I would be surprised if I saw a 10 year old sit down at a piano and play a virtuoso piece at a school concert. That’s not to demean the effort the 10 year made in his studies, but it is atypical behavior in our society.
melanie, thank you for your wonderful input and thanks for visiting!