This is one thing that I had such a hard time with when Sonny was younger. Once I got off of maternity leave and needed to start back up at the Base, I just panicked over the idea of leaving him with his father. I never knew why; he’s a great person and a wonderful dad, but I just was so afraid of him doing something “wrong” with our child. Whether it was a change in Sonny’s schedule, Daddy giving him the worst food while I was gone, or having them both lay around in underwear all day, I just couldn’t handle the thoughts.
When I would leave, I’d make sure Hubby knew the “rules” of how things should go with our son; I left a meal plan, a schedule and everything. Guess what? He never followed them. And oh yeah, guess what again? NO ONE DIED. After those initial times away, I just decided to become a bit more lax. Every now and then, I do catch myself “parenting” my husband about parenting, even though these are both our only children and I don’t have more experience than he does. When I hear myself start up, I just tell him that we can talk about it later and we have a quick discussion about whatever parenting disagreement we had. Arguing about those things in front of the kiddo seems to confuse him, so I just let Hubby say or do whatever he wants at the moment and then remedy the situation at a later date. It’s too much of a hassle to make drama out of it right then and there.
After 5 years of parenting together, I know that my husband is a wonderful father, and I also know that I gotta give him space to be just that: a father. So that means I have to shut the hell up sometimes and let the dice roll. And hey, every once in a while, I learn something valuable from him about how to deal with my kids. I’d say that’s a win-win.