This past weekend, I became subject to an epidemic that has plagued many a-house; an occasional occurrence that effects your humble abode in the strangest of ways. I’m of course speaking of The Meriod.
Also known as the “Man period,” this bought of raw male emotion is seen quite a bit all across the world but we are always hesitate to put a name to the problem. I have to thank my wonderful Gay friend from High School for letting me know the exact name. When Collin (Hi Collin!) left a status update a few months ago announcing that his “meriod” had returned and his emotions were through the roof, I immediately knew what he was referencing. My dear sweet, pain in the ass Husband experiences this issue; and this past weekend, it was on overload.
The meriod is a sneaky bugger. We significant others may only see it once in a blue(or new or full) moon, but when it shows up, are hands are placed right over the fire, not knowing if we need to fight back, stand back, or intervene with some type of advice, help, or chocolate cake. It’s not as simple as dealing with the female PMS. We’ve grown up knowing exactly what to do for that; some turn to chocolate, some sleep it off, and some turn to the Lifetime channel and cry the PMS out of ourselves until we feel refreshed. Easy. A meriod attack is a whole other ball game. It’s like watching a 300 pound man angrily swing his arms, yell at a small child, and cry hysterically all at the same time. A total hot mess that you don’t want to be apart of but somehow always gets wrangled into.
You would think that the meriod is something that we women made up to show men that they are susceptible to emotions as well, creating a “go to” example of how they turn into jerks a few times a month. But, it’s actually a medically proven occurrence! Dr. Oz discussed it recently; men have “Cycles” just like women, but they are on a 7 day rotation, rather than 28 days. The testosterone levels reach an all-time high around the 6th or 7th day and that’s when they are likely to portray “PMS like” symptoms. The key here is to “release” the testosterone at least by mid week to keep the meriod at bay. If that isn’t possible, then just waiting it out also works, which is also similar to the female PMS. Now I don’t need to go into how to “release” the testosterone, but I’m sure you smart cookies know exactly how to remedy that situation.
Our bought with the meriod started Saturday night and still continues this morning. I made the mistake of falling into the trap of a meriod-based argument and I think I made matters worse. No kiss goodbye this morning and no “thank you” after making his lunch or dropping him off at the train station. I know it will probably die down by tomorrow morning, so I guess I’ll be walking on eggshells until then. I’ll suck it up, grin and bare it, because, well, he does it for me about every 26 days.