When it comes to loans, especially in this economy, we see them as totally taboo. You have to give your left arm, first born and promise of your soul to even get one nowadays. But guess what? There’s always the bank of Mom and Dad.
We’ve used this particular bank quite a bit, especially in the first years of our marriage, and boy is it viewed as something totally different to my Husband and I. I see the “bank” as the end all, be all, last resort. When you are up against the wall, with no ideas how to escape, and you have no other options but to ask for help. My husband seems to think of it as a first resort; numbers don’t add up, call up the family for a loan. Used the gas money for his lunch all week? Call up the family for a loan. Now, this isn’t really his fault; it’s the way he was raised. The great part about my In-laws is they think you shouldn’t suffer for anything, and if you ask, they will give. Plain and simple. Because my family was so NOT that, I still cringe a little when the “bank” has to get a phone call from us….again. It had been a very long time since we’ve needed to ask for a hand, but with all that’s been going, my husband took it upon himself to put in a call, without me knowing. After talking about this eff up, we realized that he was acting on nervousness of a possible situation that hadn’t come up yet. But, in retrospect, are we just spoiled to have this option?
I know that we are the only ones to have a “family bank” available to them when in dire straights. I have quite a few friends that are able to call up Mom or Dad and ask for a loan. Some actually use it as a loan, and most don’t. I also know a few parents that are the “bank of Mom and Dad” and have no problem helping out their kids, especially with the current financial issues in our country. Some actually see it as a loan, and most don’t. I’ve even heard of tales where it’s the “bank of Kid” and some wonderful kiddos have to help out their parents to keep up with the rise of their cost of living. I know some will say that these people, including DH and I, just need to buckle down more and figure it out themselves. Those people are true, but sometimes it’s not that simple. Is the Bank of Mom and Dad a privilege? Yes. Is it becoming a privilege with a lining of necessity? Unfortunately yes. I’d rather have the Family Bank help me out any day than the Bank of America. But that’s just me.
Have any of you ever asked for help from the “family bank”? Have you had to been the lender for a family member? How did it turn out for you?