Goings on while I was gone- A Retrospective

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Did you miss any of this series? Check out parts one, two and three.

When it comes to letting go of control, I have a small problem doing so. But, as you could see in this series, I had no choice in the matter when I was deployed.  I left my whole family in the hands of circumstance and luckily, I had friends and family here to help. Now that all is said and done, My Husband, kids and I all agree that we’ve learned some valuable lessons from this experience.
Let it go
This was something I had to get used to before I even left. I did lots of planning and prepping, but I knew that once I wasn’t here to keep routines going, things could easily go awry. I made a point of getting the Husband used to all the routines I had in place a few weeks before I left, but I also made sure to tell him that if things doing work out and routines get broken, that’s OK. I think the fact that he knew I was able to let go, and he had the right to change routines if need be, helped him keep up with everything at home. It also helped me not to ask him during every conversation how things were going at home. We were just able to enjoy hearing each others voices.
Help will come, whether you ask or not
This lesson completely blew my mind while I was gone. I’m a person that tries to take care of as much as I can without bothering anyone, or asking for help. This can also serve as a problem, since there are times where help is the only thing that will rectify a situation and I’m too stubborn to ask for it. Well, when I was deployed, I had no choice but to accept help. My Mother was the biggest help by taking care of the kids all week when the Husband had to work. My Dad, who also works the same type of hours as my Husband, even helped out with the children whenever he was home. Friends of the family sent me letters of encouragement and lots of care packages, and even some friends of mine (and some of you readers!) sent wonderful things that helped to keep my spirits up. I can say that I have learned a valuable lesson about how help can empower. I plan to start asking for help when I actually need it. 
Family is love
I’m sure everyone knows and has learned this lesson, and I have to admit, it has been a lesson I’ve repeated learned myself. But, during my deployment, our whole family learned this lesson together. My children were able to become even closer to my parents and my sister, my Husband’s relationship with my parents grew stronger, and because they all leaned on each other and kept each other positive while I was in a war zone, they’ve learned to appreciate each other more. And I, in turn, have learned that my family, my true family(which includes some wonderful friends of mine) are the essence of the Love in my heart. They keep me grounded and let me sore when I need it. They have my back and are there to provide endless support. They are a big part of me, so when I was gone, my presence was still felt at every family function. I know now that if I need to lean on them, they are strong enough to hold me up. While I am my own person, I’ve learned that I need my family. And, that’s a good thing.
My job is tough
This is the biggest lesson that my Husband learned while I was gone. It’s very hard for others to understand the job of a homemaker until they have experienced it. My Husband not only had to continue doing his job, but had to do mine as well. Even with me making plans and prepping as much as I could, he still had lots to do on his own. During one of our phone conversations a few weeks before I was shipped home, he said that now he sees how difficult my job is. He said that he doesn’t know how I am able to do it all, but he’s thankful that I do it so well. I think this is the biggest lesson he could have learned. This job is tough; and I’ll have to say, it’s even tougher than building bombs in the middle of a war zone in Afghanistan. Its nice to be appreciated for doing both now.

About Amiyrah

My name is Amiyrah and I'm an an African American fashion & lifestyle blogger based in Ohio.

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