I am a Minority.
In the natural sense of the word, I am a lesser part of a bigger whole.
Being a woman in the world creates a struggle. Being a black woman in the world creates another. Being a black woman Sergeant in the military who prides herself in her frugal lifestyle, her couponing skills, her effort at green living and love of cooking things other than soul food creates my biggest struggle of all.
I feel like no one is like me, and no one can relate to me. A blogger who blogs about everything and nothing. A minority that doesn’t talk about being a minority. I’m an enigma, and enigmas are watched and seldomly supported.
I am a minority. I am a Mom who loves to laugh, loves to cry and loves to encourage. I’m also a woman who loves the art of sarcasm, perfectionism and being an overachiever. All the while, keeping my house in disarray most days of the week. I’m unique. I’m me, support or not.
Day after day, I’m learning that my purpose may be to encourage but not be encouraged. I cheerlead for most moms I meet; telling them to keep strong, to feel important and to love who they are and what they do. But, its not returned. I’m an enigma and encouraging an enigma is hard to figure out.
So, this frugal-messy-imperfect-military-overacheiver-coupon clipping-sarcastic-vulnerable-strong-chocolate covered woman will continue to be. Alone. Blogging. Tweeting. Living. Supportless but continuing on.
I’m an enigma. I’m a minority. I’m here.
Revel in your not conformity! As one who is “on the margins” I’ve found that no one identifies with me. Things get easier these days with more women in technology. But when I was faced with a lump in my breast one of the things I thought about was if I had cancer, what a freak it would make me — I’m not the pink ribbon, steeped in womanhood, feminine empowerment sort of gal. In fact, most of the things I do and like (aside from home stuff) brands me as a guy.
Do not feel badly because you are different. There are many of us who appreciate you because we are different too. We may be different in different ways but at least it’s good to know that not everyone out in the world is cookie cutter. And that is what I like about you!
And we’re here with you! In fact, I think your part of the majority! We all have so much in common in the blogosphere. That’s what makes this community so awesome!
Alex,
thank you so much for saying what you did. It made me cry, but in a good way! This has been really eating at me lately, mostly because I figured with outlets like blogging, twitter, etc, I would have found someone like me somewhere in the world by now. Someone who “gets” me. But I have to remember that those of you that are different in your own way get that i’m different too. Your words touched my heart.
Adrienne,
I trying to see if I really am part of the majority. It’s been hard to find support from other bloggers since the niche that they are in really isn’t the niche that I belong to fully. Always feeling like the odd man out a bit. But maybe that’s my purpose in life and i’m just now realizing it. Thanks for your kind words :).
It sounds like you are being perfectly you. And not conforming to what others think when it’s not what you want to do, what you want to talk about. I admire you for that!
And hope you can find your place in blogging- blogging makes me feel less alone.
I’m beginning to realize what an extraordinary writer you are. I was and am constantly mesmerized by your words and your perspective.
You know how I feel about you and your family. I won’t fill this “box” with more mush…
That said, remember what I once told you? (“Just because it’s different–than the norm–doesn’t mean it’s wrong. I’m focusing on the choices you make & not
anything else, just to make that clear!
It’s time we finally Skype! We’ve missed the last couple weeks. We need to make an appointment for next week. We have much to share… let’s get to it, lady!
I haven’t read your blog before today but you sound like the type of people I choose to surround myself with. Don’t be anyone but yourself. That is whom your husband and your children love and really, in the end…they are what make it all worth while.
Look forward to reading more of you posts!!
Beautiful, confident post! I love it. Unique is good. I’d be willing to bet there are so many women who wish to emulate you yet haven’t the slightest clue how or where to begin.
As someone who comes from a fairly non-normative family (but not minority, unless you count Jewish), I think my eccentric and strong parents who were always willing to go their own way gave me my foundation. Your kids will grow and thrive having a mom who knows her own mind and goes her own way.
I can’t say I have experienced what you have, but I appreciate your struggle, and I think you will be a shining light to those around you. Please don’t be too down about what others think, as there are many of us out here in the virtual world who are rather in awe of you. And those closest to you love you for and not in spite of these differences I believe.
Diane,
Thank you so much for those wonderful words. They touched my heart and I can see now that maybe i’m not as alone as I thought I was. I appreciate you for opening my eyes even more.