Nice guys finish FIRST

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“Nice guys don’t finish last. Maybe you just weren’t nice in the first place.”

As I watched Jenna Marbles surprisingly serious video a couple of weeks ago, she spoke these philosophically simple words to her viewers. They immediately struck a cord with me. Why? Maybe it’s because Jenna pretty much never talks about serious things, or if she does, she turns it into a light-hearted discussion. But the real reason is that I loathe that expression. Truly “nice” people never end up on the back-burner.

4 hats and frugal
Are you really nice?

I’ve had the reputation of being the “nice girl.” From grade school up until high school, that’s what I was branded. I was the quiet, nice, girl who filled up space with smiles and happiness. Because of this reputation, I was also marked as the girl to take advantage of. Nuh-uh…I wasn’t having ANY of that. When I had my first fight with the school bully in 3rd grade, it was started because she said I was “sweet and dumb.” When they pulled me off of her at the end of that fight, sweet or dumb never came out of her mouth again. I’ve kept that sweet but scrappy reputation up until my adulthood, and stay determined to never have anyone put me last. Believe it or not, all of those “nice guys (or girls)” think this way.

– Never underestimate a “nice” person. One of the biggest mistakes you can do is deem someone who is considerate, polite and well-mannered to be dumb or naive. Lately, I’ve come across quite a few people in my blogging business that seem to think speaking to someone like a human being, using please and thank you, and staying fairly pleasant is a weakness. Once we start to talk business, they immediately try to take advantage. Once I give them my business plan, media kits, or what have you, they change their tune. You don’t have to be nasty to be successful, but you do have to have intelligence. Yes, those “nice” business people tend to be some of the smartest.

– “Nice” people can get scrappy when need be. I used my first ever fight as an example above. Those “nice” people you encounter tend to be intelligent enough to find other ways to deal with confrontation or tense situations. But, rest assured, if they need to put up a real fight, they will win. Think twice before your provoke us.

– “Nice” people open doors, “mean” people burn bridges. The biggest misconception of bettering yourself, your wealth and your environment is that you have to have “balls of steel,” focus on yourself and only yourself. Guess what? That never works. The most successful people know that there may be a day when they are knocked down a peg or two in life. On those pegs, you’ll meet people that you’ve treated well and they will be the ones to help you get back on track. Jay-Z? A former gangster and amazing businessman who is actually a pretty nice guy. Cheryl Crow? A nice woman that used to sing back up for Michael Jackson and is now a superstar in her own right. Take a cue from these folks, why don’t you.

– “Nice” people have ample amounts of determination. I’ve been reminded of this throughout my life, from grandparents that have always been pillars in their community, striving to be part of the betterment of the neighborhood. Recently, the reminder has come in the form of some of my favorite bloggers who have wonderful business minds, but make a point of providing encouragement and positivity while building their brand. The Cubicle Chick, Jenny On The Spot, Resourceful Mom, and The Chatty Momma have been wonderful examples. If I continue to move through business and life with an open heart and bright smile, I can succeed, just as they have.

Life has to be filled with positivity, i’m sure of it. The only way we can survive is if we see the light within the dark. I’m proud to be called a “nice girl.” It’s my pleasure to smile, laugh, and create a warm and loving environment for others. It’s the best part of being me. But, as you eat my dustin this race called life, remember: 

Nice Guys ALWAYS finish FIRST.

About Amiyrah

My name is Amiyrah and I'm an an African American fashion & lifestyle blogger based in Ohio.

Plan Your Year Now!


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  1. 9.12.12
    Diane said:

    I’m a woman who works in construction as an owner’s rep/PM. I am unfailingly nice, but tough as all get out. I wouldn’t get anywhere screaming at my GCs, and that would just undermine my authority.

  2. 9.12.12
    JennysMom said:

    This post and your words are why I love you so…

  3. 9.13.12

    Diane! You hit the nail right on the head. My motto is “kill them with kindness but keep your skin tough as leather.”

    JMo, I love you back! I’m glad you enjoyed the post :).

  4. 9.13.12
    lorrie said:

    thanks for sticking up for nice people although I feel like I am naive but thats a good thing.

  5. 9.19.12
    Reticula said:

    Interesting take on the topic. I’ve been hit over the head with the nice guy phenomenon again and again lately–both in my personal life and in my online reading. I recently came across something called Nice Guy Syndrome, which is where I think the saying about nice guys finishing last comes from. Guys who do nice things for women often expect something in return, usually a relationship beyond friendship. When women don’t respond to the niceness the way the men want, they say women don’t like nice guys so they might as well treat women like dirt. It’s an argument fallacy, of course, but it’s become a common belief that “nice guys finish last,” and that women prefer bad boys who break their hearts.

    Nice guys (or women) who are only nice because they want something aren’t really nice. They’re manipulators who often turn nasty when they don’t get what they want. People who are truly nice, or kind, simply because they choose to do so, aren’t in a competition to see who finishes first. They’ve just chosen a more loving outlook on life. You seem to be the latter.

    Thanks for the thoughtful post.

  6. 9.20.12


    You hit the nail on the head. It’s the premise of being “nice” to get somewhere that really got me started on this post. Being a genuinely nice person should be just that: genuine. Those that pretend tend to use the “nice guys finish last” phrase to the point of exhaustion because they don’t want to admit that the niceness they exude is fake. That’s why I wanted to also list a few people that I know are genuinely good-hearted and have prospered because of it. Thanks so much for that comment!

  7. 10.26.13
    jane said:

    Love this! So true!