Motherhood is hard work. We’ve all heard this before, and to tell you the truth, that statement is preposterous. Motherhood isn’t just hard work; it’s substantially overwhelming work. You have to be “on” all the time. There are no real days off, even on the rare times that you can have a getaway from your children. You worry. You fret. You strive to be an even better mother than you were the day before. It’s liberating and exhausting.
Every once in a while, I decide to be the bad mom.
That’s right. I make the choice to make mistakes when it comes to my kids. I let them watch TV all day, eat cake for breakfast or wear their favorite shirt 3 days in a row…with stains on it. I get to the point of not caring about it all and keeping it all together.
My husband says that I have a unique type-A personality where I care too much about the order of most things. I care so much that I burn myself out. Basically, it’s a nice way of saying that I go over-the-top when it comes to taking care of everyone. He’s right. I don’t take the time to take care of myself as much as I should. I get burned out, and that trickles down to my household duties. One time, the kids and I stayed in our pajamas all day and watched TV. The rest of that week, we ordered out. There was no cleaning of any kind. I gave up.
Luckily, it doesn’t take me long to break out of my “bad mom” rut. I get back to normal and back to our routine. I still end up having regrets about my decision, though. I think of how this behavior affects my children, and that they may view me in a way that would just break my heart. Then, I did the unthinkable.
I asked my kids their opinion.
News flash: they love “bad mom.” Bad mom takes her time. Bad mom doesn’t rush around to get everything done. Bad mom is fun. Bad mom lets us have treats in the middle of the day. Bad mom picks the best cartoons to watch. Bad mom is really nice, especially after she takes a nap.
I learned a harsh reality after I had a chat with my kids. I need to slow down and let life run it’s course. I need to give my kids the option of dictating how a day will go, from time to time. I need to be the bad mom.
It’s OK to be the bad mom. She ends up making life so much better.