He Won’t Say My Name

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James age 1

There’s something that happens when you have a third kid. You feel like a veteran parent, while still feeling like you’re starting from scratch. You stress, but stay cool. You handle diaper changes like a boss, but still don’t understand why they have so much trouble with keeping food on their trays rather than the floor. It’s extraordinary. Another thing that happens is the third kid does whatever the heck they want. It’s pretty funny, actually.

Your first-born is the spear-header. They learn it all first, they get to know their parents first, and they quickly fall into their role as “the first one.” Second born wants to do what the first born does, naturally. But, they love to do it in a different way, just to drive their parents crazy, and throw their older sibling for a loop. It’s fun to watch that relationship grow, and the pains that may come with it. But, the third kid? The third kid doesn’t give a crap about anything. At least, that’s how my third one is handling life. He does what he wants. Climb up the couch to give Mom a heart attack? Check. Find Daddy’s secret stash of Milk Duds and go to town? Let’s do it. He’s a maniac. While I enjoy having this little personality, there is one thing that makes the back of my eyeballs itch. He refuses to say my name.

Oh, he knows how to say Mama. He’s said it quite a few times, just never to me. This 19 month old definitely understands how meaningful this is to me, so he makes sure that I never hear it. I’ve been told that when I travel, he says it. I’ve heard him babble to others and mention “Mama” when speaking whatever story he wanted to share. But, when I say “Who am I, buddy? Am I Mama?,” he smugly smirks, and turns his head. Sometimes he’ll smile at me, then give me a hug with a gentle pat on the back. It’s like he’s saying “I know what you want, but not today, Mom. Not today.”

What a freaking stinker! We’ve been doing this word tango for months now. My sweet husband has even tried to get him to say it to me, to no avail. He knows that it kind of hurts my feelings to hear our toddler yell “Dada” as soon as he comes home from work, and then the rest of the evening before he finally lays down for bed. Yup, I’ll admit it. It breaks my heart a little bit. And yes, I know that one day I’ll WISH he didn’t know my name (my first and second born have already introduced that feeling to me), but still. Can’t he say it as least once, to my face? I’d really love that. Better yet, let that be my Mother’s Day gift. No handmade cards, flowers or chocolate. I’ll take a sincere “Mama” from my little one. Say a prayer for me, will ya?

About Amiyrah

My name is Amiyrah and I'm an an African American fashion & lifestyle blogger based in Ohio.

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  1. 4.27.16
    Sunshine said:

    Be patient and look on the bright side… he misses you when you are away enough to say it. He asks for you. So just be patient, he’ll be saying it soon enough and you’ll be missing these days. That being said, I think it is funny that you think he enjoys watching you twist in the wind. He must be your rebel. The one that will go out of his way to do the exact opposite of what he thinks you want. Hopefully he’ll outgrow it before he becomes a teen lol.

    • 4.28.16
      Amiyrah said:

      Ha! Thanks Sunshine!

  2. 4.27.16
    Carla said:

    From one Mama to another I shall pray hope visualize you hear your name on Mother’s Day <3

    • 4.28.16
      Amiyrah said:

      Hehe thanks, Carla!

  3. 4.27.16
    Dawn said:

    I can relate. My daughter who is now just over 2 would not say Mommy. She said Daddy for months and called her grandmas Mama but would not say Mommy to me. Finally at 21 months I took her to Disney World and she said it and she kept saying it. My suggestion is to take him to the happiest place on earth, Disney, he will be so happy with you that he will start calling you Mama. It worked for me.

    • 4.28.16
      Amiyrah said:

      I love that suggestion, Dawn! Ha! Now to get him there as soon as possible 😀

  4. 4.27.16

    OMG! What a cute little stinker that he is! It’s almost as if this is a game he is playing with you…love how head strong he is already.
    I’m sure within no time you’ll be begging him to stop saying your name! Good luck & I’ll pray for his Mother’s Day deadline!

  5. 4.27.16
    Brianne said:

    Lpve love love this! Sounds like you are talking about my Gem!

    • 4.28.16
      Amiyrah said:

      Glad I’m not alone! 😀

  6. 4.29.16
    Reesa Lewandowski said:

    Ohhhh what a little bugger! So cute though! One day he will break down and forget himself and say it loud and clear to you and see the joy in you!

  7. 5.2.16
    Terri said:

    This post is too cute. I’m pregnant with my first now and keep teasing my husband by telling him I’ll teach the baby to say dada first. That way he’ll be calling for dada in the middle of the night and not me. Haha!

    I never thought of the heartbreak I’d feel if our baby boy never says mama to my face.

    • 5.5.16
      Amiyrah said:

      Congratulations, Terri! It’s still so fun to hear your little ones say dada, even if you wish they would say your name first. Ha! All 3 of my kids have said dada first, but this little bugger refuses to say mama to my face. I have a feeling God is letting this happen for a reason. I’ll regretting my name being “mama” before I know it. LOL