There are a few things that count towards “adulting.” Buying a family-friendly car, planning your retirement, and scheduling a Saturday where you’re going to hit up The Home Depot AND Bed Bath & Beyond. Yup, adulting is serious business. But, the biggest adulting achievement to unlock is buying your very first home. My friends, after 7 years of preparing, we are finally homeowners.
We bought a house!
The House Hunting Journey
Here’s the thing: watching House Hunters, Fixer Upper and Property Brothers does not prepare you for the real house hunting journey. In one of my recent email newsletters, I basically cursed all my friends that have bought houses before us. Why? Because they didn’t tell the REAL truth about the house hunting journey. It’s all “we bought a house!” with a cute little picture on Facebook, and nothing else. Disclaimer: we totally did the cute little Facebook picture thing, too.
This was such a difficult journey. Falling in love with house after house after house, and losing it. Having your marriage tested by the biggest purchase you will ever make, and being very careful not to share any of this heartbreak or journey with your kids and other family members, because you don’t want them to be disappointed. Talk about tough. Was it worth it? Of course. Was it all rainbows and unicorns? Absolutely not. If you want to hear more about our heartbreak in the interim of our search, watch this video.
The Aftermath
We kept most of our house hunting journey as private as we could. I’m a flibbertigibbit at times (name that movie), so keeping exciting secrets is hard for me. To be honest, I didn’t keep it as secret as I was supposed to. We wanted to keep this as down-low as possible to make sure this decision was completely made by my husband and me. We didn’t want outside opinions about how our new life should be, or where we should be planted. The aftermath of this decision has been interesting. We’ve had a mixture of “oh, I didn’t even realize you were house hunting!” to “why didn’t you ask me for advice? I’m pretty disappointed in you.” Yeah, people are saying that last one.
Another fun development? People being upset that we are leaving so soon. We want to be in our new home ASAP, which equates to less than a month or so. Yes, we’ll be moving our whole family and possessions from the East Coast to the Mid-West in less than a month. We have a lot on our plate, and the added on guilt from others is pretty surprising. The bonus of the situation is that we really have no TIME to feel as guilty as they would like. Like my dear friend Brandi said recently “I acknowledge your disappointment.” I get it. We’re all experiencing the emotions of happy, sad, and regret simultaneously. I’ve lived in New Jersey for all of my life. This will be a big change for everyone. But we’ll have to feel all the emotions while I’m packing these boxes. Please don’t fault us for it. We’re on a deadline.
We Wanted A Debt Free House
Some might ask “why 7 years? Couldn’t you have gotten a house sooner?” Absolutely. But our big goal was to put 100% down on a house. A fully debt-free house. See, we don’t like debt. It doesn’t fit into our lifestyle. When we got out of $36,000 in debt, we vowed to never be in debt again. That vow included whatever house we ended up being blessed with. While we shot for the moon, we ended up in the stars. No, we aren’t entering our home debt-free, but after saving for 7 years, we are entering with a VERY low mortgage payment. I’ll call that a win.
We Have To Buy ALL THE THINGS
We’ve been in a 2 bedroom apartment for over 6 years. We didn’t accumulate much, and the items we have accumulated did the job (but aren’t the best). When we thought about upgrading an item, we always remembered “our new house.” We stuck with the same couch we bought used for $75. The toaster we have burns one side of the toast, but it sort of worked, so we kept it. Half of our pots and pans were hand-me-downs from my sweet Mother-In-Law, and the other half were cheap purchases. We never bought a coffeemaker because we didn’t have room for it. We will purchase a fridge, washer, dryer, and a bed for the Baby James (he’s never had one).
Now, we are ready to buy all the things. When I mentioned our 7 years of savings, that included all the gizmos and gadgets we need to buy or update. For a frugal gal like me, this might be tough. But, I feel like this journey is something we should share together on the blog. You’re all my friends, so you’re going to help me shop (on a budget, of course).
Blessed Is The Word
While the journey was tough, the end result is the biggest blessing our whole family has experienced yet. My kids will have their own rooms to decorate, love and live in. My baby will sleep in a real bed, and have a place for his little toys. My husband and I can watch a show or movie, on a new couch, in our new home, and have a real date night in while the kids are upstairs. Praise Be!
We (once the mortgage is paid off in a few years) own land. As an African-American family, I have to say, this is a VERY big deal for us. To come from renting for 11 years of our marriage, to owning a space of our own, is a blessing only God could have engineered. Yes, we put in work to get here, but it was work that He planned for our lives. The overtime, the deployment money, the online jobs, they were all financial steps that He planted for us.
Congratulations on such an exciting time for your family! It’s always a blessing to see God’s hand in our lives. I can’t wait to follow your new house posts!
Thank you so much, Michele!
I am so over the moon with excitement for you. So much truth – “no one told us how hard it is to buy a house.” As for the guilt from people, I feel it. We’ve been there. People still say dumb things. I just look at them and move right along. No time for stupidity. They can sort their own issues. I can’t wait to see you fill up that new house with love and laughter and family and make it a home.
So excited for you! This is so huge. HUGE. Congratulations. Cheering you on from Arkansas!
Thank you, Jamie!
Much love to you guys! May you prosper and thrive in your new home.
Thanks, Anne!
This is amazing! Congratulations! Your family’s patience and hard work has paid off and now it’s time to enjoy the fruits of your labors! 🙂
Thank you, Britney!
When I saw your new facebook cover I was cheering for you and your family that you purchased a house. Last year my husband and I bought our second home, but it was the first one we bought with our family in mind. I was so happy because it had enough room for us to homeschool happily. I am wishing you and your family many blessings as you all make this huge transition.
Aww thank you so much!
Joe Versus the Volcano? and, no, I didn’t google. 🙂 Congratulations on the house. In which state did you buy? We might be state neighbors, again, when I move to Indiana.
Ohio! And you totally got the movie reference ;).
This is SUCH an amazing post on so many levels. I’m super frugal but what your family was able to achieve with SO MUCH hard work is truly fantastic. You all deserve to bask in the happy glow of “this is mine. I did it!” We bought our first home 2 years ago, but with a huge mortgage, and now as we try to sell our home to get a bigger house for just a little bit more we’ve found that selling your home while trying not to lose the next home is a nightmare, too. Thank you for sharing this exciting news, and the reality of home purchasing. I’m sure a LOT of people would pay to hear the steps on how you did it. This is such great news.
Thank you so much, Shari! I’m sure you have your own amazing story to share about home ownership. I’d love to hear more about what it’s like to sell a home while trying to buy another.
I’m so excited for you!!!!
And I had absolutely no idea that you were in a 2BR apartment!! It always looks so spacious on Snapchat and whatnot, so you’re amazing at the decorating part already. Very very excited for you. Congrats to your entire family. YOU DID IT!!
Also – disappointed in that they’re gonna miss you? Sure. Anything else? It’s on them, not on you. You know that already, but I’m saying it anyway. xo
I love you, Andrea! And I definitely needed you to say it to me :). I don’t think I’ll get tired of hearing that, especially when the negative thoughts kick in. Thank you for always being so supportive.
Congratulations. signing those papers is one of the best feelings in the world!
Thanks, Diane! It sure was a good feeling :).
Big congratulations Amiyrah! Awesome adulting going on, to God be the glory.
Amen! Thank you, Dee!
So excited for you and your family. Congratulations and best of luck with the move to the midwest.
Thank you, Trina!
This absolutely gives me hope! Thanks for sharing your journey.
You’re welcome, Muffy! <3
It’s such an empowering feeling to own your first home! So excited for your family and wish you many blessings and happiness in your new home as you start this new journey. Just have to say thank you for being of voice of sharing how we should all be living our lives, debt free to the best of our intentions.
Thank you so much, Kim!
Yay, Amiyrah and family! I am so thrilled for you guys. I am curious about which state too. We moved from Illinois to Tennessee last year. It was the best thing for our family. Sorry about those who have been a little rude about your family’s decision. Can’t wait to hear more about your story. I have so many questions, lol!
We’re moving to Ohio! I just noticed I didn’t mention that in the post. Ha!
Amiyrah!!! Congratulations!! WooHoo! I am genuinely happy for your family, this is awesome. I have been a renter for 14 yrs of my marriage too and I can’t wait for the day to get out of our 2 bedroom apartment and move into a house. My baby doesn’t have a bed either. She sleeps in our bedroom in her pack n play. We are cramped, to say the least. I just want my kids to have their own backyard and actually be able to have houseguests without scaring people away because we’re right on top of each other. We’re gonna get there and this just encourages me even more. Safe Travels and enjoy your new home.
Oh Candice! You will definitely get there. I believe in you. Keep saving, Mama!
Congrats Amiyrah! So excited to for you and the family. You’re definitely an inspiration for those still in that saving/waiting period. People will always have something to say smh. Sorry you gotta deal with that. Enjoy your blessing mama! Good luck on the move!
Congratulations friend! I’m so so happy for you!! So you two have been married for 11 years? When’s your anniversary? We got married around the same time! Ohio sounds perfect! Is that considered midwest? haha. I always saw it as kinda east-ish. So proud of you guys and all that you’ve achieved! Yay for the super low mortgage! We are paying ours down too, I can’t wait until we make that last payment! You mentioned “land” did you get a lot of acreage?
Congrats again on your beautiful home love!
Congratulations and best wishes for the move. In 2015 I left the state I’d always lived in – Pennsylvania – and moved to upstate NY. I understand a bunch of the emotions you mentioned; even though we only moved one state away.
Praise the Lord for the internet and the ability to move our jobs with us!
Congrats girl! How awesome! I love that you did what you could and saved and saved to be able to be as debt free as possible. The change of states will be an adjustment but so well worth it and from someone who had moved a lot, gives you and your children new perspective and experiences in life. We bought a new home last year due to the growth of our family, 4 kids and it has truly been a blessing with the space. I can’t wait to see what you do with your new space. Congrats again.
I couldn’t be happier for your family. The way you did this is so inspiring and such a great way to show others how to live within their means. No one can say you don’t practice what you preach- love you! xo