How 24 Dollar Lotion Changed My Life

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How 24 Dollar Lotion Changed My Life
This is a guest post from my dynamic husband, Brandon! Check out his funny and life-changing story:
“Where’s the lotion?”
“I thought you packed it!?”
These words would haunt my day as my wife said them to me. These words that would mean a quick trip down to the store, an easy 19 minutes and 48 seconds of my blissful day! But no, not today. Not in the middle of the vast metropolis of Disney World.
Ahhhh there it is! Regardless if you have been there or not, you now feel my pain.
No trip is without it’s ups and downs, goods’ and bad’s, rashes and ashes? Wait… no. Not ashes! But you get it.
No rental car. No way off of Walt’s Island of fun and excitement. No way, wait… the gift shop! The gift shop? They sell the eighty-two dollar bottle of water right? Yea, but Dasani is delicious. Thanks Coke! Shameless free plug.
Off to the shop I go! The wall of a thousand suns. Welcome to Florida! The beauty, the trees, the plants, the geckos!!!
“HI, where can I find lotion?”
“It’s by the bottled water!”
Of course it is! Which one to get? The travel size or the full size? Well there are 5 of us so the travel side should work!
Fine. Full size.
“Twenty-Four dol…….” but it’s to late! You’ve already calculated the odds of getting anywhere else. Give in to the power of fairy dust!
And the deal is done.
Later on that evening after everyone’s showered it’s my turn, YAY!!!
As I stare at the lotion from h20+ I can hear myself say “plus what?! Plus twenty-three dollars that’s what” as I open the cap and squirt a little in my hand, what is this!?
Have they somehow found Ariel’s voice and crushed it into a fine powder and then added the tears The Seven Dwarfs cried over Snow White and made a lotion out of this concoction!? Who in all of (insert Disney movie country) has frozen all of the goodness of Candy Crush and made it applicable to replenish the moisture of skin!?!? My goodness!
Ok, so I am a 6 foot 1 inch (which is probably more like half an inch, but don’t judge me) man. A musician, an electrician, a worker, a leader, a man with the most baby like skin ever! Now understand that I hate lotion. It’s just ugh. This however, isn’t lotion. It had to be hand crafted by Tiana using all of the colors of the wind. This, is magical.
And, this is where they get you. I’m addicted. Not to mention my wife had a travel size of the body wash. How can I ever go back to slather anything else on my body?! Ugh! Welp! I guess now I’m just going to need to walk to earth with Jules because there could be no other meaning to life right? I mean… family but… Ohana Matata, am I right?!
Oh, and if you happen to see me out in public, yes… yes you can touch my skin. Just ask cause that’s not awkward or anything lol. I don’t want to get the hose again. H2o+. BooM!

About Amiyrah

My name is Amiyrah and I'm an an African American fashion & lifestyle blogger based in Ohio.

Plan Your Year Now!


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