One Question Your Doctor Should Ask You

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This post is in partnership with Right To Desire.

Going to the doctor has always been embarrassing for me. From the gowns, to the sterile rooms, to the months and years old magazines, it’s never been the best experience. Having to be so cold when talking about my health was never a fun thing to do. 

Recently, I found out that out of all the embarrassing questions women are asked when we visit the gynecologist, there’s one that has been left out. There’s one question your doctor should ask you, and interestingly enough, my former gynecologist actually asked me.

Are you satisfied?

That’s the question our doctors should ask during every single appointment, but it’s the question we’re never asked. So, when my OBGYN asked me this question after the birth of my daughter, I was subtly shocked. 

It wasn’t a required question, but because he actually cared about his patients and my well-being, it was a welcomed discussion. My shock wasn’t from the actual question, it was from the idea that this appointment wasn’t meant to be cold and distant.

“How are you feeling, sexually?” was the exact question he asked. I was relieved to share. Things didn’t feel right, and I wasn’t sure how to bring it up to him during this appointment. He gave me the opportunity, just by asking this question that isn’t required of him as a doctor.

Here’s the thing. HSDD, or Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, can affect 1 in 10 women. If the simple question of “are you satisfied?” was asked of us, these women wouldn’t have to suffer in silence. If we asked our doctors to add this question to the long list of cold questions we’re asked during check-ups and post-natal appointments.

Symptoms of HSDD

Does HSDD sound like something you may be experiencing, but you’re not sure how to bring it up to your doctor? Here are some symptoms to think about:

  • You experience low sexual desire, no matter the type of sexual activity.
  • Your level of sexual desire, or interest in sex, has decreased.
  • Your lower sexual desire, or lower interest in sex, is bothering you.
  • You were satisfied in the past with your level of sexual desire or interest in sex, but no longer are.

These are just a few symptoms, but once you bring up the one question with your doctor, you’ll be able to discuss HSDD in more detail, and come to a diagnosis together. It all starts with that one question, though.

If men are asked about their sexual desire during their appointments, why aren’t women? Adding this one question your doctor should ask, without any hesitation, can change the way women perceive the importance of their sexual desire. It’s that simple.

There is one question your doctor should ask you, but they don't. This article shares the question women should require their doctors to ask them.

For more information about Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, visit

About Amiyrah

My name is Amiyrah and I'm an an African American fashion & lifestyle blogger based in Ohio.

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